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the wedding garter toss…when one person doesn’t want to do it

January 14, 2010
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you and your fiance’ are torn on the wedding garter toss. you want to do it. but, he doesn’t. or, the other way around…he is dying to get his hot little hands up your dress, but you’d rather crawl under a table and avoid the whole scene. it is a dilemma. i understand.

here is some advice if you and your fiance’ don’t quite see eye to eye on the wedding garter tradition…

talk about it
just like the vows, the first dance song and the cake flavor, you need to talk about it. get on the same page before your wedding day. try going through a dry run or schedule of your wedding details. talk about how each of you envision the entire day going. this way you can have the opportunity to discuss any disagreements or issues.

compromise
maybe you can compromise by skipping the wedding garter toss during the reception, but still wearing a wedding garter under your dress. you can keep your wedding garter a secret between you two and then stage your own little garter tossing ritual behind closed doors in the honeymoon suite.

make it special
if he isn’t into it, offer to wear a wedding garter that is designed with something he likes. a sports team? a saying that is special between the two of you? college colors? there are lots of ways to make your wedding garter special and meaningful to the two of you. maybe the little something extra will be just the boost he needs to go along with it.

set up some rules
there are lots of different ways to do the wedding garter toss. you can do it however you want and whatever makes you comfortable and happy. if you are the one compromising, try making your wishes clear. perhaps if it was done a certain way then you wouldn’t be so opposed to it. try setting some ground rules that will make you feel better.

just do it
in marriage there are compromises. maybe this is the issue that you don’t want to fight about. so, just go along with it. if he wants to do it, allow him this wedding day pleasure and try to relax and have a good time with it. if he doesn’t want to do it, try to understand why and then find another tradition to take part in that you can both agree on.

do you have more questions about the wedding garter? check out my garter 101 series!

from → garter 101, garter toss
3 Comments
  1. heather permalink
    January 14, 2010 9:45 am

    This is very helpful insight on “to toss or not to toss”. In my case, my fiance and I were both against it – surprisingly though, my parents were all for it! We looked at their wedding pics from oh,….25 years ago and it was quite cute, but for us, cliche. To each their own, right? 🙂

    Thanks!

  2. AmyJean {Relentless Bride} permalink
    January 14, 2010 10:57 am

    I think my guy is very into the garter… even if he may not have an opinion on the toss, it’s something sweet that I think can’t hurt anything if you do wear it. And i think wearing something you know he’ll like (sports team or something fun) that you can surprise him with the day of is also a fun surprise to add to your wedding day!

  3. Amanda permalink
    January 14, 2010 1:14 pm

    When we got married we were both for it. The only part that made me uncomfortable was the bit where he puts his head up under my dress. That seemed a little much. We made it fun by playing an upbeat song and laughing a lot while it was happening, and he kept his head out of my hem. It was really pretty great and the pictures are priceless!

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